The People Who Hold You When You Want to Quit: Why Community Isn’t Optional for Kingdom Builders

This year tested me in ways I never saw coming. And if I’m being completely transparent, I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for the people who held me when I wanted to quit.

When Independence Becomes Isolation

I used to be a lone wolf.

Not because I wanted to be, but because past hurts and disappointments taught me that trusting people was risky. So I kept my guard up, my circle small, and my struggles to myself. I convinced myself that independence was strength and that needing people was weakness.

I was wrong.

Here’s what I’m learning as I build this Kingdom business: The right community isn’t just nice to have. It’s essential. And the difference between the right people and just any people can determine whether you step into your calling or shrink back from it.

The Year That Changed Everything

This year has been one of the most transformative seasons of my life, but it’s also been one of the hardest. I experienced a relational heartbreak that shattered me. I was terrified to relocate when God called me to move. And now I’m building a business that feels bigger than anything I’ve ever attempted, with circumstances that still aren’t ideal.

And honestly? I wouldn’t have made it through any of it alone.

When that relational heartbreak hit, my people came in like Wonder Woman. They didn’t just send a “thinking of you” text and disappear. They walked with me through the painful healing journey I’m still on. They let me breakdown and cry. They listened when I needed to vent and let my heart break without trying to fix it or rush me through it.

When I was terrified to relocate, my friends didn’t let fear win. They called. They sent scriptures. They reminded me who called me and why obedience matters more than comfort. And when I actually made the move? They didn’t stop showing up. Because this relocation hasn’t been easy, and my people are still encouraging me with calls, texts, and scriptures.

Now, as I’m building out this Kingdom business, everything in me wants to retreat back to the life I knew. The familiar. The safe. The predictable. But my people aren’t letting me settle. They’ve got my back and they’re not letting me retreat from the calling that’s on my life.

They’ve prayed for me. They’ve sent encouraging videos at just the right moments. They’ve let me know about opportunities and events that align with where God is taking me. They’ve sown into the vision God is entrusting me with, both financially and spiritually. They’ve provided practical advice when I needed direction and accountability when I wanted to quit.

The Hard Truth About Who Gets Access to Your Vision

But here’s what I need you to understand: Not everyone can be a part of this kind of journey.

I learned that lesson the hard way.

Early on, I made the mistake of sharing what God was doing in my life and what He was instructing me to do with people who weren’t equipped to hold it. And they spoke against it. They tried to discourage me. They questioned whether I was really hearing from God or just being impulsive. They projected their own fears onto my obedience.

It wasn’t malicious. They just couldn’t see what I was seeing because God wasn’t showing it to them. But their doubt was loud enough to make me second-guess myself. And that’s dangerous when you’re trying to walk in obedience.

So I had to get intentional about who I share pivotal things with.

Because here’s the truth: Everyone can’t be a part of this journey. God is leading me into unknown territories, and I need people who will radically believe God with me and can hear Him clearly concerning me. I need people I can trust to hold me in ways I didn’t even know I needed to be held. I need people who won’t judge me or speak against the moves God is having me make in my life.

I need people who really have a heart for me.

When God Surprises You With Your People

And as God has been leading me to emerge, I’ve been surprised by who has shown up. Some people I expected to support me didn’t. And some people I never expected have been unexpectedly present, cheering me on, holding me up, believing with me.

That’s taught me something powerful about discernment and community.

The right people aren’t just the ones who are nice to you or who’ve been around the longest. The right people are the ones who can hold your vision without dimming it. They’re the ones who believe God with you, even when they don’t fully understand what He’s doing. They’re the ones who remind you of your calling when you’re ready to quit. The ones who pray for you, not just about you.

And here’s what I want you to know if you’re building something God has called you to build:

You need community. Not just any community. The RIGHT community.

If You’re Reading This as a Lone Wolf

I know some of you are reading this as lone wolves too. Maybe you’ve been hurt. Maybe you’ve been disappointed by people who were supposed to show up and didn’t. Maybe you’ve shared your dreams with the wrong people and they crushed them with their doubt or judgment.

I get it. I’ve been there.

But isolation isn’t protection. It’s prison.

God didn’t design us to carry His assignments alone. He designed us for community. For connection. For people who can see what we can’t see when we’re too close to our own situation. For people who can speak life when we’re surrounded by death. For people who can remind us who we are when we forget.

So if you’re trying to build this thing alone, I need you to hear me: You don’t have to.

And more than that, you shouldn’t.

How to Build the Right Support System

Here’s what I’ve learned about building the right support system:

Be discerning about who you share with. Not everyone deserves access to your vision. Some people can’t hold what God has shown you because they’re not meant to. That doesn’t make them bad people. It just means they’re not YOUR people for this season. It’s okay to keep some things between you and God until He releases you to share.

It’s okay to ask for help. This was hard for me. I thought asking for help meant I was weak or incapable. But the truth is, asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do. It means you’re humble enough to admit you don’t have all the answers and wise enough to know you need support.

Let your people know when you’re struggling. Don’t wait until you’re completely falling apart to reach out. The right people want to walk with you through the struggle, not just celebrate with you at the finish line. Let them in. Let them see the messy middle. Let them hold you when you’re not okay.

It’s okay to let go of people who speak against what God is calling you to do. This is hard, especially if these are people you’ve known for a long time or people you love. But in this season, you can’t afford to be connected to anyone who will cause you to be disobedient to God or abandon your assignment. Protecting your calling sometimes means protecting it from people who don’t understand it.

The right people will show up in unexpected ways. Don’t limit God by assuming you know who your support system should be. He might send people you never expected. Be open. Be willing to receive support from places you didn’t anticipate.

Your people should challenge you AND comfort you. The right community doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear. They tell you what you need to hear. They hold you accountable. They call you higher. But they also comfort you when you’re hurting and remind you of God’s faithfulness when you’re doubting.

What the Right People Make Possible

I’m writing this from a place of deep gratitude for the coaches, sister-friends, mentors, and family members who have shown up for me this year. Without them, I would be somewhere living a life below the one God is calling me to live. I would be settling and still playing small. I would be outside of the will of God, probably helping someone else build what He’s calling them to build while neglecting my own assignment. I would be somewhere allowing fear and complacency to have a seat at the table of my life.

But because of the right people, I’m still here. Still building. Still believing. Still obeying.

So if you’re reading this and you’ve been trying to do this alone, I want to give you permission to stop. You don’t have to carry this by yourself. You weren’t meant to.

Find your people. Build your community. Ask for help. Let them in.

And if you’ve been hurt by the wrong people in the past, I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. But don’t let past disappointment keep you from future connection.

The right people are out there. And they’re waiting to walk with you.

Reflection Questions:

Who’s one person you can reach out to today and let them know you need support?