Some title, right? That’s right. I didn’t make a mistake. You can have the life of your dreams as a single mother! For decades, being a single mother has had such negative connotations. So much so, that it’s easy to perceive all single mothers as impoverished, not good enough, less than, less educated, always needing a hand-out, and low income. Don’t get me wrong, some of us started out with far fewer resources and are still working our way towards financial sustainability that will allow us to not only provide, but thrive and prosper in taking care of ourselves, our child(ren), and our homes. Yet, there are others who have kicked down barriers and broken glass ceilings to prove our unmarried status with children is simply a status and does not define who we are unless WE allow it to define who we are.
May I share a little of my story with you about how I am achieving the life of my dreams? First, let’s define what a dream is. According to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition, a dream (as it relates to what I am writing) is 4a: a strongly desired goal or purpose 4b: something that fully satisfies a wish: ideal.
I want you to know that no matter how many dark days you’ve already had, brighter days are coming for you. Were you abandoned, cheated on, or abused? My dear, that says nothing to the glory, brains, and beauty that makeup YOU! So, what is it that you dream? Write it down! Here are a few of mine:
- To heal heart, soul, & mind (expelling wrong beliefs)
- To find out who April is
- To have food and medical insurance
- To have healthy, healed, and happy children
- To have a safe and nice place to live with my children
- To be joyful and happy, living in peace
- To get more education (free education), allowing me to be a knowledgeable and successful CEO of my own company
- To take my children on vacation
- For my children and I to live an extraordinary life with an abundance of resources that would always allow us to give generously to others, especially single mothers and their children.
So how do you accomplish those dreams? Once I wrote down my dreams, the second thing I committed to doing was to LIVE. Not exist, but LIVE. Living mandates that we leave the wounds of our past in the care of our Creator and continue to move forward. One way I did this was writing a letter to God telling Him about all that was going on with me and had happened to me. I wanted to know why He made me, my purpose, and if it was possible to have a much better life than the life I had before. Because He cannot swear by anyone but Himself, He has been faithful and true (continuing to give me the life of my dreams) filled with many oohs, ahhs, and “thank you Father.”
It is only when you decide to LIVE, (forgiving and leaving the pain of the past with someone greater than you, who knows everything about you, and has promised to perfect EVERYTHING that concerns you) your dreams will begin to manifest, far more that what you imagined. The Father’s love for you is like no other. He has far more for you and your children than you could have ever imagined.
The third thing you need to do is PACE yourself. Your pace should be a walk at a steady and consistent speed. You shouldn’t be in competition with anyone. Your life, your family, your situation are exactly that…YOURS. I have felt frustrated many times because things didn’t happen when I wanted them to happen. What I know for sure is God’s timing is perfect, and sometimes He makes it as if you never missed a beat.
Fourth and finally, DON’T FORGET. Don’t forget to be thankful, living a life of gratitude. Don’t forget to be humble; kingdoms can rise and fall in one day. Don’t forget to continue to forgive, as well as laugh and enjoy life with your loved ones. You may not have a lot of time, but you can make the best with that which you do. Lastly, don’t forget the One that made it possible for all of your dreams to come TRUE.
-April Jarvay
April is happily living the life of her dreams as a proud and compassionate mother, inspiring and empowering single moms and divorced women throughout the United States. For prayer request, inquiries, and comments, please email April at apriljarvay@gmail.com.
