Wasted Time or Saving Grace?
“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams. “ -Unknown
In 2005 I graduated from high school with the intention and determination to major in Psychology and graduate with honors. In 2007, I slipped into a deep depression that left me unable to function enough to finish my classes and I had to withdraw from school and go home for eight months. This led to me needing extra time to finish my degree. Not only did I take an extra year to finish, but I found out two weeks after graduation, that I did not really graduate. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. There are no words to describe how I felt as I stood in my parents living room, letter in hand. The air was sucked out of my body as I read the words “will not receive diploma.” Long story short, I took a specialty elective class during my last semester in college and did not do so well. When you take a class that is part of your major curriculum, even if it’s an elective, you cannot receive a grade that is below a C. 
My professor spent the better part of the semester ill and we were without her expertise and guidance during this time, although we did have substitutes. She recovered and was able to come back in time to administer our finals. Needless to say, a lot of us struggled to even make a passing grade. My mom went with me to meet with the chairman of the Psych department and pleaded my case. The only thing that the chairman could offer, was to allow me to borrow his copy of the needed textbook and a spot in the same class the next semester. Once I finished the class, I would then receive my diploma in the mail. As I look back, even now I get emotional because my anger and hurt were so acute, I couldn’t speak. I saw his compassion, but it didn’t soothe what I was feeling. As my mom and I walked out of his office, she turned to me and said: “what are you going to do?” I remember taking a deep breath and replying that I would get my degree. That next semester, I enrolled in classes and took the Amtrak to and from Greensboro, NC three days a week until I was finished. After the semester ended, the school would not recognize my credits, yet another roadblock. The same professor whose class caused me so many problems sat down and wrote a certified letter to the university on my behalf; at last I received my diploma in the mail that summer. 
I will admit that there were times during this process that I wanted to throw in the towel. There were times I was so exhausted that sleep would not come. The fear of failure was so oppressive that I felt it was hard to breathe. I was having a hard time seeing past my circumstances, they had me bound. It was in the quiet hours when I was alone with my tears and frustration that God spoke to me and renewed my hope, and reminded me that all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. This particular chapter in my life taught me a lot about perseverance, resilience, hope, and determination. I decided to recognize the lessons in the turmoil. You may be battling disappointments right at this very moment and wondering what your next move should be, or if you should throw in the towel. Disappointments will come, but they do not have to break your spirit.
Ways to Move forward
- Allow yourself time to grieve for the situation/circumstance.
Give yourself an allotted amount of time to sulk, cry, scream, or be angry. These emotions are yours, and it is ok to have those moments. Just make sure you do not stay in this place of despair. Often times in the face of disappointment, it can be easy to allow emotions to be the driving force of our actions. Doing this can lead to rushed decisions and bad judgments. While emotions are not bad or wrong, it is necessary to seek a balance in allowing yourself to feel them and own them; while not allowing them to control you and your decisions.
- Do not make giving up an option
Do not allow justifications or excuses to stop your progress. Also remember, going a different route at Gods prompting is not giving up, it is obedience.
- Think of possible resolutions to get yourself back on track to achieve whatever goal or level you are trying to get to.
Make a checklist and check off as you go, this allows yourself to see your progress and can be an encouragement when you feel like you’re not moving forward.
- Seek God’s guidance and wisdom throughout the journey and surround yourself with like-minded people that will encourage you through word and action to do better and be better.
Having a support system gives you a mirror when you cannot see yourself or your circumstance clearly.
- Know the difference between times when you are supposed to be doing the legwork and when you should let go and let God.
Sometimes we can get in God’s way by trying to do and control everything. There are times where waiting and releasing the circumstance to God is a necessity.
God did not promise that we would not have trials, issue’s or pain, however, He does promise never to leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8, Isaiah 41:10-13). In Jeremiah 29:11, God tells us that He has plans for us, nothing is left to chance. In order to obtain His itinerary for our lives, we must seek Him in everything. You are a wonderful, one of a kind creation. Only you can walk the path He has set for you. Believe in yourself flaws and all, refuse to accept less than your best. Each one of us was created with unique talents and abilities, you never know who is being encouraged by you or your journey.
