“Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.” — H. Jackson Brown
As humans, it is in our DNA to want to be loved and have our emotional needs met. We desire to be appreciated and valued and have meaningful connections. When we have great connections and relationships, we can feel a sense of appreciation and significance and purpose.
However, when emotional needs are not being met in relationships, community, family, or socially, this can lead to a feeling of emotional abandonment. This is not a good feeling, especially for those who have given to people in relationships but their needs are not being met.
The good news is there are three actions steps to overcome the moments when you feel undervalued and underappreciated.
- The first action plan is to be honest and speak up. Sometimes the other person is unaware that you are not satisfied or that you are feeling underappreciated. So, communication is key. You have a right to get your needs met, but your partner, friends, or significant other is not a mind reader. Therefore, you must express yourself and your feelings, then work on ways to reconnect.
- The second action plan is to become emotionally healthy by getting to know yourself. Ask yourself: Are you happy with yourself? Do you love and value yourself? Relationships and partnerships are healthy when there is freedom and balance. They don’t work when one person expects the other person to complete them and have all the answers. You must be whole before you connect with anyone on any level, if know you will have impossible standards and unrealistic expectations. So, you must make sure you are emotionally healthy.
- The third action plan is to surround yourself with people who celebrate you, not just tolerate you. You would be surprised by the number of people who have outgrown friendships, business relationships, and connections, but they remain because of “loyalty.” If your circle consists of people who are negative and constantly putting you down or telling you what you cannot do, it is time to change your circle. The truth is you simply outgrow some connections because they have known you for so long they begin to tolerate you. To break the pattern of feeling undervalued and underappreciated, you must connect with people who celebrate you, who can embrace your gifts and who encourage you to use your talents. Get around people who are excited about your future and run from people who keep bringing up your past.
Lastly, I am reminded of the words of Jack Canfield: “By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved—and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses—you eventually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciate are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward towards higher goals and accomplishments.” When you simply appreciate yourself, others will stop and appreciate you.
Written By: April Dior