A Mother's Heart

It’s Okay to be Selfish

As a mom you are inundated with responsibilities; as a single mom everything is double. We all seem to have the same routine… You get up and take an anxious shower that you pray doesn’t get interrupted by your child who either has to use the restroom at that exact moment or who wants to take a shower with you. You then throw on something that you hope is presentable and clean, pack your lunch, and then it’s time to get the child or children up. You wash bottoms, brush teeth, get them dressed, and you’re hurrying out the door.


Does this sound like you? I’m sure it does because this is the basis for every mother’s story. She picks up the kids, gets home, homework help while dinner is cooking (hopefully not burning), spend some quality time with them, then it’s bath time, story time, and then the glorious bedtime. At that moment you think, “YES! Time for me!” but you can barely keep your eyes open only to find yourself doing it all over again tomorrow.


As a single mom, guilt sets in when the thoughts come, “I just need a moment alone.” Some single moms do not even allow themselves to think that they deserve to take time out for themselves. Why is that? I want to let you in on a little secret it’s okay to be selfish. Yes it is! Even as a mommy! Let’s face it, we put these little people, our spouses (if we have one) and everything else before us, but then when it comes to us, we are constantly on the back burner. Consider the fact that if we are not good, no one will be!


Good thing I got you covered mommies! Here is a list of 5 ways to Be Guilt-Free Selfish:


  1. If you are an early riser, get up early and take a nice hot bubble bath with lavender. It will relax and rejuvenate you and prepare your mind for the day.


  1. Saturdays are not just for errands! Use your child’s father or grandma to take an hour or two to “run errands.” While you’re out, window shop, buy YOURSELF something, NOT the KIDS! I know this may be hard for some, but you deserve it!


  1. Put “Me Night” on the calendar and stick to it! We might have to plan our lives a little more, but it’s doable. Go out! Shake a tail feather and do it once a month! You are still a human who needs to enjoy being you!


  1. Cook a meal that YOU like! Most times I cook things the whole crew will eat, but sometimes I cook what I have a taste for. If they don’t like it, they conform or they can get an alternative, but usually I win 🙂


  1. Everyday, tell yourself what an amazing job you are doing AND at the end of the week, give yourself a treat. Whether it’s a new notebook, a good book, a piece of candy, or cake, celebrate yourself, Momma!


As single mommies, yes we do it all! We have to but I also know that we are never alone. God is always with us. So it’s okay to recognize and take care of yourself and be selfish in a good way!


Be You, Stay True, Pursue & Live B.R.A.V.E.™!

By: Takima Howze



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